XXX

I will see the movie XXX only if there are scenes wherein Vin Diesel:

• Makes pancakes with a bag of flour marked 'XXX'


• Drinks from jug of fermented cider marked 'XXX'


• Resigns from Patrick McGoohan's secret agency, and a robot arm types 'XXX' over his ID card before dropping it in a filing cabinet


• Wins at Tic-Tac-Toe, after going first


• Witnesses the tragic yet comical demise of this three-eyed cartoon friend


• Draws an ASCII art picture of two small, angular fish kissing


• Loses control of the board at Family Feud


• Befriends the owl puppet from Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, who has joined the 'straightedge' scene


• Visits the Australian subcontinent on the Discworld


• Travels back in time to Ancient Rome, and then writes a press release, and then finishes writing it