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Lonely dudes
Aug. 29th, 2010 02:12 pmI find the depiction of men crying due to loneliness deeply upsetting, even when it's not really meant to upset. Memories from three different media:
• My trigger for thinking about this is last panel in this set of comic strips. It's meant to be darkly funny, but I find it heartbreaking.
• It reminded of a scene that affected me profoundly in last year's film Moon. Expressing his confusion and frustration over his inability to return to earth after completing his long, solitary lunar-work contract, the protagonist sobs "I just want to go home," and then cries wordlessly for a moment. This happens over an external shot of his lunar rover parked under an earthrise.
• These in turn reminded of my most upsetting moment from my long stint playing the first Sims game. Experimenting, I had rolled up a new character with a maxed-out social-neediness slider, and then proceeded to ignore this while I worked to get him a job and improve his house, spending no time encouraging him to make friends. While I slowly improved his standard of living, he began frequently and spontaneously breaking down into loud sobbing, burying his face in his hands. He'd pause to do this while just walking from one room to another. When I realized why this was, I was horrified, far moreso than I did when playing cruel Simsy pranks of walling up a Sim or deleting their toilet or whatever.
Recalling all these things brings me close to tears myself, right now.
I specify men because, casting my mind back, I can't easily recall visual stories I've experienced where an adult woman cried from simple loneliness (versus, y'know, "boo hoo, $specific_partner has left me"). I don't know if this is because of some flavor of andronormativity in the media as a whole, or because I myself tend to better sympathize with and therefore better remember depictions of sad men per se.
• My trigger for thinking about this is last panel in this set of comic strips. It's meant to be darkly funny, but I find it heartbreaking.
• It reminded of a scene that affected me profoundly in last year's film Moon. Expressing his confusion and frustration over his inability to return to earth after completing his long, solitary lunar-work contract, the protagonist sobs "I just want to go home," and then cries wordlessly for a moment. This happens over an external shot of his lunar rover parked under an earthrise.
• These in turn reminded of my most upsetting moment from my long stint playing the first Sims game. Experimenting, I had rolled up a new character with a maxed-out social-neediness slider, and then proceeded to ignore this while I worked to get him a job and improve his house, spending no time encouraging him to make friends. While I slowly improved his standard of living, he began frequently and spontaneously breaking down into loud sobbing, burying his face in his hands. He'd pause to do this while just walking from one room to another. When I realized why this was, I was horrified, far moreso than I did when playing cruel Simsy pranks of walling up a Sim or deleting their toilet or whatever.
Recalling all these things brings me close to tears myself, right now.
I specify men because, casting my mind back, I can't easily recall visual stories I've experienced where an adult woman cried from simple loneliness (versus, y'know, "boo hoo, $specific_partner has left me"). I don't know if this is because of some flavor of andronormativity in the media as a whole, or because I myself tend to better sympathize with and therefore better remember depictions of sad men per se.