"Language." "Nng, sorry..."

[prog]

So babies & toddlers are starting to inevitably spread through my social group, and are being brought to gaming events, which serve as the mead-halls for my social life. This much is fine. I like kids OK, and I like smart kids a lot, so I honestly look forward to this crop getting old enough to think and talk, so I can start feeling jealous for their awesome childhoods within a whole crowd of delightfully immature "aunts" & "uncles". (Versus that of poor baby jmac, raised by friendless oldsters and sent to bed at 6pm every night. Alas!)

But there is one thing I don't like so much: it's accepted that, when the wee ones are around, all the grown-ups must refrain from using cuss-words. This actually makes me a little annoyed. Actually: rather annoyed, and a little angry, that I must constrain my own behavior for reasons which, when I think them through, seem more harmful than beneficial to the kids in question.

I mean: beyond being a futile exercise (you do plan on sending them to school one day, yes?), it smacks of teaching one's children a known falsehood, setting them up for later disillusionment and confusion. I guess I could see it if we as a group truly abused the words to a nautical degree, but I would argue that we use them as proper language flavoring: salt rather than syrup, if you will. So wouldn't one want to expose their kids to smart grown-ups speaking naturally, rather than teach them the fiction that the words simply don't exist, and are never said by anyone?

Naturally, I say all this as a non-parent, and further one who can't imagine changing this status, not without a rather severe personal mental rearrangement, so maybe there's something magical I'm not getting. Furthermore, were I ever put in charge of a child, I would (barring, again, a drastic change of personal philosophy) teach them during their first sentient Xmas the truth about both Santa Claus and Jesus Christ, and I don't know how different this strategy would be from even the new parents in my current crowd.

Comments

[avon.livejournal.com]

A thread along this line came across a list I am on. Like the social circle in question, kids are beginning to infuse some of the social situations making for some interesting tensions.

My general thought on the matter, as a parent of one of those kids, is that if language is appropriate for the venue in general, then don't edit yourself because a kid is there. If it becomes apparent to me that the venue is not appropriate for my daughter, (say the traditional valentine's event at the freaks), I will remove her from the situation.

Now, that said, don't you dare ruin Santa Clause! :)

[jadelennox]

you aren't bringing her to the party? What if we promise not to swear?

[avon.livejournal.com]

heh. We might be arrested. :p

That said, it is mostly past her bedtime anyway and cranky miserable baby is no fun. Plus...by February...she might be old enough for us to attempt to get one of these mythical baby sitters I've heard about! :)

[prog.livejournal.com]

I'll keep my mouth shut. :) Seriously, I fully support a parent's desire -- duty, even -- to act as gatekeeper to what the kid can experience and know, and don't pretend to know better than, y'know, actual parents, and you can expect me to be well-behaved too!

"Interesting tensions", though, yes. I appreciate the insight.