May. 16th, 2013

prog: (Default)
Here is an obituary I wrote:

What follows is some stuff I typed into a chatroom today. I'm still in the same hour-by-hour crisis I've been in since Monday of last week. I'm in a coffee shop in Waterville as I type this with no clear idea where I'm sleeping tonight.

Things are dire here; nothing is stable until mom is safe in a home. I keep thinking they're stable and then something else blows up. (It's ricky half the time.)
I am shifting my stance to getting her moved the hell out and damn the cost.
I'll figure out how to pay for it later.

Today Ricky decided he doesn't want to drive the car anymore because he isn't insured. "I'll get arrested and go to jail!"

Yesterday it was the plumbing. Tomorrow it'll be Ricky's missed the bus or some other damn thing.

I feel better for having come to this decision

More background: I was under the misimpression that getting mom into a home on the dole would be a matter of waiting a few days for forms to process. This is true except for the "a few days" part.

I'm now being told this may take weeks or more to find a bed in a facility that accepts MaineCare (as opposed to private pay)

And I'm in continual crisis mode until mom's moved. Which is a huge drain on my money, my psyche, and my relationship hi amy.

So I can't stay in this mode; i was hoping as recently as this morning that we could tread water with ricky's help but that's a fantasy

also I straight-up can't work, or do anything else
except take care of a crazy old woman who literally cannot appreciate it
that's kind of a shit trade, for me

June 2014

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