My beard trimmer suffered a mechanical failure today, when the comb slipped. The comb, in this case, being not something to align hairs, but a buffer between blade and face. It's a very nice trimmer with a very comfy electric blade, so when the comb slipped and I shaved off a whole square of hair from my left cheek, I didn't notice until I saw the error in the mirror.
For a crazy moment I pondered shearing the whole thing off. No doubt I will someday, but today is not that day. So, I just dewhiskerted my right cheek, too. (Hair still on jaw.) Then I got to wander out of the bathroom yelling "ARE MY CHEEKS EVEN AAAAH" and N and M said yes, it's fine, cheeks, har har. Still, it was the first time I denuded any part of my face in more than four years, so it's worth noting. Uh-huh.
Someday I will hack all that fuzz off to coincide with some life-changing event (like maybe the next time I get a haircut) and I'll get to scare people, ooh, lookit me, my looming, pasty face is more faceful than ever! Raar! I dont think I'll ever shave off with intent to keep off, though. I'm just too lazy for that.