Roses are red, violets are blue, hey, listen, i'm sorry, it's me, not you

[prog]

I want to invent the antipode of Valentine's day, which would take place on every August 14. Its symbol would be a big black playing-card spade. Its purpose would not be to encourage breakups, but rather to provide an opportune time to reëvaluate one's active relationships, and perhaps recognize those that aren't flourishing and act to prune them if necessary. (See, we can really build off this whole horticultural metaphor.) For one day, the national zeitgeist will be attuned to this painful and reluctant process, a whole support structure in place to offer resolve to the dumper and comfort to the dumped.

It just needs a name.

Seriously. I want to go all the way with this. Can't you see all the greeting cards that naturally spring forth from this idea? Little wacky spade-waving cartoon animals on black-trimmed, doggerel-filled holiday cards? And the cupid-type holiday mascot, instead of heart-tipped arrows, he'd have, like, a big fuckin' spade-tipped partisan. Oh dude.

Comments

[cnoocy]

Well, there's Saint Maximillian Kolbe, who martyred himself in Auschwitz by offering his life in place of a man with a wife and family. Saint Max's Day?

[prog.livejournal.com]

Either you're making fun of me or I don't see the connection. (Wondering if this was somehow the opposite of St. Valentine's martyrdom, I just now read his WP entry, only to learn that nobody seems to know exactly who the hell he was. Which is pretty interesting in itself.)

Also hesitant to put Auschwitz in the middle of what's essentially a joke. Maybe there's someone from the plague year I can scrounge up, or something. (Thirdly, my whole idea seems less clever to me now that that it's seven hours after 2:30 in the morning, but that's not your fault...)

[cnoocy]

I just pulled up a list of saints for August 14th and picked the one with the easiest name. It seems sort of apropos, with the whole "I'm not married, take me" aspect, but you're entirely right about jokes and Auschwitz.