Fashion Victim part 3: I hate shopping for clothes and am bad at it.

[prog]

I didn't do a very good job of it this afternoon. I need to make at least one more run, and then do the rest online.

Shirts: FAILURE Well, I didn't look too hard today, really. I'll leave it for another trip.

I looked a little in American Apparel but -- despite the fact that I like to think I've worked past the prudishness of my upbringing -- the amateur porn all over the walls seared my eyes and minimized the length of my visit. Not so much because porn is scary but because I already feel pretty out of place and uncomfortable shopping for clothes, so any stimulus that adds to these feelings tends to push me out the door that much faster.

(While their models reveal less skin than those whose images decorate some other clothing stores I could name, the harsh lighting used in the photography just screams basement studio with highly profitable website, to me. (I did appreciate that the models look like real people and not sixpacked/siliconed posebots, but.))

However I got a couple of black T-shirts there because I can't have too many of those.

Blue jeans: FAILURE In every place I looked, all the jeans that were neither bleached nor possessing painted-on poo stains were not quite in my size. (Noted: many pants for tiny, spheroid men.) I finally got one pair but didn't realize that it was stupid-baggy until I took it home. I'll see if I can return it. Macy's (where I bought it) used to have a wall-of-jeans, a matrix of cubbies organized by size, and they all looked the same, and that was fine. Now they don't anymore. I think I will fall back to the Gap for these, as they have the only wall-of-jeans left that I know about.

I did at least get a nice pair of dark brown khakis.

Sportcoat: FAILURE BCF had a beautiful blue corduroy coat that was juuust slightly too big. I almost got it anyway coz it was only $40 because only dorks wear corduroy sportcoats. Dorks like me. Made a note of the manufacturer so I could look online for it, but forgot the manufacturer's name almost immediately. I'll look again tomorrow morning. And bring a pen.

Socks: SUCCESS I got nine pair of black crews for like $15 in Filenes' Basement. All riiight.

Comments

[ruthling.livejournal.com]

On the other hand, your amusing descriptions were a success! I look forward to pictures of the new you.

[keimel.livejournal.com]

Wow, more black clothes and no beard, why it's like.... um, the same jmac I already know?

Cripes man! Go into a store, ask for some help.

Start with the more dressy stuff to get a feel for what you like. Walk yourself into a Men's Wearhouse - they will treat you well. Ask for help. Tell them you're looking to move from 'black' to 'other colors that you have been told exist... ' - they'll help you. Tell them what you want. They're in the business of making you look good from the things you buy there so taht you'll come back and buy more good looking things there.

Once you've got a basic palette and some basic clothes to get you through many occasions, you can get away with expanding that same palette into the rest of your more casual clothes.

And take some of their advice. Buy some things that you think don't work. Take them home, leave the tags on, try them on the next day too and be sure you don't really like them. Return them. They are very easy at returns.

Come on... do it... you know you wanna...

(and it'll only help your business stuff)

[prog.livejournal.com]

I'm not trying to redefine myself... I'm just refreshing my wardrobe. I actually think I have a pretty good idea what my personal palette is. (Yes, black is involved. But it's not alone.)

Thanks for the advice, but... I don't need any suits today.

[keimel.livejournal.com]

They do more than just suits...

[(Anonymous)]

Drink the Men's Warehouse Koolaid! (Or, upstairs in the Filene's Men's Section there should been some Old School sales types - the discussions are amusing and they're good about returns).

Have you considered tiedye?

[apkeimel.livejournal.com]

Methinks that "j" ought to take a trip to boston and help an old friend get introduced to the world of other clothes :)

perhaps

[meerkitty.livejournal.com]

you need a random chic to help you with the clothes issue.
i would volunteer in my copious free time just for your sardonic nature's delight.

good to meet you finally.

Re: perhaps

[prog.livejournal.com]

I had to exercise my detective skills to figure out who you were. I am appropriately amused to learn that, yes OK, everyone at the table did in fact have LJ accounts.

Feel free to look me up next time you're in town and you can point and laugh while I am reduced to tears over the difference between flat-front and pleated or whatever.

[cortezopossum.livejournal.com]

I do enough inventories to know where all the good places to shop are locally :-)

Remarkably I find the best work pants at our local "Farm & Fleet" store -- I don't blow out the knees in 3 months like I do those pants from "JCPenney".

[hrafn.livejournal.com]

It's taken me a few post-military years to figure out what sorts of clothes work best for me. Especially work-type clothes. And now that I've more or less worked it out, I'm off to a non-work environment for 3 years, where I can wear pretty much whatever I want, and can forget all my l33t sh0pping sk1llz. Hurray!