Dear Canada

[prog]

Now is a perfect time to enact those coup d'etat plans you've been sitting on for years. No, no need to act surprised; you've been pretty transparent, really, massing your population along the border like that.

Really, now's the time. It's chaos down here. A few hours of intense activity in Washington ought to do the trick. Shouldn't be a problem with all those sleeper cells you've installed, right? Come on.

I, for one, will welcome you as liberators.