Ouch

[prog]

I just played a Clubhouse Games round of Hearts against the currently #1-ranked worldwide player, one MISS MARPLE (caps hers). It was pretty brutal. CG apparently makes little attempt to match you against players of similar rank; I'm like #333 or something. The final score was like 108 - 30 - 5. (Middle score was "Henry", who was also quite good.) Then again, I doubt many people are online and playing the same game at once, at least compared to WiFi Tetris or Mario Kart.

I can fend off most computerized hearts players, but watching a human master of the game play is stunning, even whilst they are schooling you. They really play like magicians. If they're not leading, they never have the led suit, unless it's safe for them to take the trick, in which case they shall. As leaders, they always have exactly the right rank to force you to take the black queen and all but one of the hearts.

I seriously don't know how they do it.

Comments

[spatch]

Hearts is one of those blood pressure-boilingly competitive games for me. Started out as a late-night diner game. Discovered it can turn four very good friends into mortal enemies very quickly. Once you start calling QS all sorts of obscene names, you really can't go back.

However, I agree with you that, competitiveness and angry rage aside, when you get the tar kicked out of you by a real skilled and accomplished player, you can't help but feel... well, in awe of it. Especially if they keep you from shooting the moon on the very last trick. Toying with you all along like that! Damn!

Maybe you're not in so much awe that you want to thank them for the beatdown, but enough that when someone else says "Hey, where'd he park the yellow bus? Cause he sure took you to school!" you can nod sagely and appreciatively and say "Yes, yes he did."