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progRicky came back with a report of Trouble, at the local church he visited for Mass this morning. During "the Peace", the bit in the service where congregants take a moment to semi-ritualistically offer handshakes and say Peace! to their immediate neighbors in the pews, Ricky saw that a little girl near him seemed to be ignoring him, so he tapped her on the shoulder. This was apparently met with some disapproval.
I explained to him that he really shouldn't touch people he doesn't know, ever, to say nothing of touching children. He immediately got argumentative, starting with "It wasn't a touch, it was a tap," and he insisted on reconstructing the scene, with me role-playing the girl (and then receiving what I'd describe as a light, four-fingered flail on the shoulder). "I was treating her like I would my own daughter!" he finally said.
Ricky's thought-paths, and hence interactions with other people, will always be fractured, in ways like this.
Going downstairs to finish our Bezique game now, before I escort him back to the bus station. He's pretty steamed about this and muttering continuously about how nobody understands what "Peace" means any more. I'll just nod at this.
I explained to him that he really shouldn't touch people he doesn't know, ever, to say nothing of touching children. He immediately got argumentative, starting with "It wasn't a touch, it was a tap," and he insisted on reconstructing the scene, with me role-playing the girl (and then receiving what I'd describe as a light, four-fingered flail on the shoulder). "I was treating her like I would my own daughter!" he finally said.
Ricky's thought-paths, and hence interactions with other people, will always be fractured, in ways like this.
Going downstairs to finish our Bezique game now, before I escort him back to the bus station. He's pretty steamed about this and muttering continuously about how nobody understands what "Peace" means any more. I'll just nod at this.
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Date: 2009-07-19 07:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-20 01:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-20 02:32 am (UTC)even adults who are generally pretty perceptive often seem to push a shy kid - why would you try to forcibly interact with a child who is clearly and deliberately not making eye contact or engaging with you at all? it puts a parent in a sort tough position too, on the one hand you are trying to avoid rudeness on the part of the child but on the other why should i allow rude adults to make abs miserable? stupid grownups.
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Date: 2009-07-20 02:27 pm (UTC)Your second paragraph reminds me of both (a) my own childhood and (b) feminist essays I've read pushing back at this same stance adopted by certain men at all women. (e.g. commanding "Smile!" to a woman they are passing on the street)
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Date: 2009-07-20 02:37 pm (UTC)Some of us were shy kids but related to adults better than other kids. So I could understand the tendency to project what you would have wanted as a kid onto a kid who in any way reminds you of your (memory distorted) former self.
I try to avoid this, but I can see the source.