prog: (what_you_say)
The more I dwell on missing Origins. the more pissed off at myself I become. I mean, what the hell. It's a great time. I should have started planning months ago, and started trying to push other friends of mine around the country to join me... I remember thinking after last year's Origins that I'd do exactly that in 2005. Feh!

It occurs to me that a real factor in my failing to start thinking about it is that at no point in the last year did [livejournal.com profile] rikchik bring up the topic, as has been his role for the previous three Originses. No doubt he'll fall on his flimsy excuse about "needing to pay for" his "new" "house" or whatever that is he's doing. Insert standard gamer where-are-your-priorities-man joke here.

Well. Next year for sure.
prog: (Default)
I think that I am losing more than I am gaining by not attending Origins this year... darn. I just didn't let myself think about it at all, and now it's too late. I guess the "you had a blast last year" meme was evenly matched by "beware the brain-eating monster that is fandom" and then routed entirely by that damned "you're too busy anyway". The fact is, though, I really should make more of an effort to stay plugged into game culture, now that -- let's be honest -- games is looking more and more like my true vocation.

Well, I guess there's a good chance I'll continue my every-even-year tradition next year. I will miss seeing those of you I'd see, and hope you all have a great time. At least some others are threatening to evangelize Volity there in my stead, and that's pretty good.



Here is a secret about me: I feel a little rotten about the fact that I seem to be heading into game-making (or game-enabling or some damn thing) as my first truly self-driven profession.

This is partially because, to my eye, wanting to make games is the generic career disposition for us male Gen-Xers, and there's a part of me that's continually damning myself for wanting to diddle my life away in entertainment when there's a world to save. Way to go helping the population amuse itself to death, say the detractors in my head, who if you wish you can imagine having long, pale green faces and wearing black robes and powdered wigs. (Or as potatoes with falsettos and powdered wigs, if that's more your thing.)

I have things I can say, in my own defense. Mostly the fact I'm less interested in the socially isolating video games they have in mind and more in games, electronic or tabletop, that bring people together. And then I can never help myself and start launching into my mushmouthed spiel that I want to help foster communities of thinking game-players in every level of society, that I conspire to trick a generation of children into getting addicted to logical contests, and that this is how I'm gonna do my part to save the world!

But the potato judges will have none of it, their shrieks of bullshit, bullshit echo around the hall and o it's just awful.
prog: (Default)
Most of my bloggish friends seem to think 2003 was pretty crappy. For me, the year went all right. Was hoping for more, though. Didn't get as much done as I'd expected. I thought I'd have Volity finished, and some other inventions besides (BrainDump, Cooking for Hackers, and so on); am only halfway done with it (but still plugging away, drawing in friends, happy with momentum). Wanted to get back into writing columns, but didn't. Restarted my media log and then let it slide away again. No major projects finished at work, but did get some little ones in around the middle of the year, so that was nice.


Definite good things that happened last year: Felt, for the first time, to be a trusted member of an urban-tribe/social-blob thingy. (Or two.) Moved to a nice apartment, rediscovered joys of living alone. Stopped trying to grow away from my links to Maine; embraced them instead. Proved that you can reëstablish contact with people you haven't talked to in years.



Spent NYE alone in my apartment, doing the bidding of strange spirits, who had me clean my kitchen and bathroom, and take window measurements, and wash all my scattered dishes, including christmas presents (M's teakettle, and the big coffee maker my parents got me). Midnight found me happily drinking tea from the mug that [livejournal.com profile] lyricon gave me earlier that year and munching on some cookies that my landlord gave me earlier that day while I sat my nice clean table writing letters while wearing new socks (from trip to Boston to visit Filene's Basement and peep at the beginnings of First Night), and then I watched Dick Clark watching the ball drop, and I felt very content.

Have not made any resolutions for this year. I bet doing so would be a good idea.

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