Girl

[prog]

Already rethinking earlier statement about the word "girl". To go against college-indoctrinated language lessons feels like a tiny act of sacrilege, and invites a deal of internal debate. Here is an excerpt:

jmac: After all, there are plenty of contexts where I could legitimately use "boy" in reference to an adult male.

strange interlocutor: Fair enough, but what about that context in the cafe? if you'd been served your coffee by a man, would you have written "the boy who..."? No, you'd have written "the guy who...", and I resist your sexist equivalence of the ambiguous "guy" with the diminutive "girl". Shame shame shame on you.

jmac: [Mumbles, shuffles feet.]

This is an old argument and I back away from having an official opinion on it for today.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

And yet so many vaginally-equipped members of the human species are so uptight about 'not appearing old' that the use of the 'younger' thought of expression of 'girl' would be complimenting. But, as with much said by men to women, if there's a negative side to the comment, the negative will be the foremost part of the comment discussed.

Switching to anonymous mode for this comment. Oh yes. Definately.

[cnoocy]

That's much less likely to be true of women who are young and/or in a non-social field (that is, anyone who's not an aging debutante.) When one is respected based on something other than apparent age, "girl" is more a disrespectful or at least informal appellation. I don't think it's a matter of tanking the most negative interpretation, but more a matter of taking the interpretation appropriate to the setting. There's a big difference between referring to the woman serving you coffee as a girl and carding the 55-year old woman to whom you're serving dinner.
For that matter, power dynamics come into the equation as well.