It starts.

Aug. 16th, 2006 07:52 pm
prog: (zarf's werewolf)
[personal profile] prog


One of many ads we've sprinkled over Google, actually. But this one has my favorite copy. Zarf wrote the last line. (Yes, it would be better with "and", but there is a 35-character-per-line limit.)

Date: 2006-08-17 12:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] treacle-well.livejournal.com
It sounds catchier without the "and" and a semi-colon instead of comma makes it sound stodgy.

Good ad.

Date: 2006-08-17 12:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] treacle-well.livejournal.com
Um, a semi-colon would make it sound stodgy--meaning I approve of the comma use.

Date: 2006-08-17 01:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radtea.livejournal.com
It needs a period.

"Lie to your friends. Then eat them."

You want the full stop after the first clause to maximize the impact of the second. It isn't quite grammatical ("then eat them" is not a sentence) but it's catchier.

Date: 2006-08-18 12:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] treacle-well.livejournal.com
Eh, maybe. Full stop works, but sounds more serious. A shorter implied pause is more flip--and I prefer that tone for this. But that could be just me.

Date: 2006-08-18 08:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radtea.livejournal.com

I like the constrast between the implied seriousness of the full stop and the flipness of the actual content. But I'm weird that way.

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