A Simple Way To Go Faster Than Light That Does Not Work

It was okay. Gaming is always A Good Thing, but I disappointed myself -- I thought I'd want to take more advantage of the con, doing the many things and meeting the many people available there, but this turned out not to be the case. I actually became fairly cranky on Saturday, and spent much of the afternoon and evening alone in our hotel room, reading and doing Book work.

Leah, my very own LJ Anonymous Coward, wrote me a nice letter before the weekend which opened with the observation that I, in her eyes, share an attribute with another favorite blogger, The Gus, in that I move through all these distinct circles of people, but seem happiest when alone, or with the computer and writing. My first impulse was to object, especially in light of the burst of sociability I've experienced since the year started, but I can object only up to a point. I can't deny the pattern I stick to of making forays into the wild now and then, but always retreating back home alone when I've used up all my mana points or whatever, so that I can recover and reflect. I might be making more sorties now, but the strategy's never changed, and it doesn't change when I go to a con, either.

It's true that I hung out with many interesting and fun people, but they're the same interesting and fun people I see several times a week nowadays, and in much less expensive venues, such as In Someone's House, In The Cafe, or Out Side. (Note that this is, in fact, a nice reminder that my life is beautiful right now.) Notable exceptions were other Lab Rabbits who aren't a staple of the local circles I'm in, and Zarf.

Zarf is so cool, mannnn, even if I was too grumpy to go party-wandering with him, and he didn't have any comments about Currents other than "Ahh, too many rules -- sorry, I am having a Kory moment." I wonder if cthulhia tried pressuring him into LJ. Well, at any rate, I'll see a lot more of him and everyone else I really ought to meet, game-design-wise, this summer at Origins.

But, for now, boy, I feel burned out on gaming. Redlining my leisure time is, in fact, not all that fun, especially not right now, as I feel the lukewarm breath of The Deadline on the back of my neck ever-so-slowly heating up. I will need to get a lot of work done before I'm again filled with the real desire to game -- gaming tastes sweetest, to me, when it's a mix of the given mental challenge and sociabily with the feeling that I've earned the chance to do this utterly unproductive thing for a while. With luck, I will meet this requirement before it's time for Vericon, this coming weekend.

This morning my bank, bless them, forced me to own up to the fact that I have several entities who'd like money from me but who have no idea how to contact me anymore. Part of that horrible move last month involved having no address for a while (foolish; I should have at least set up forwarding to my parents' or something (but maybe the idea didn't reach conscious levels because of memory of my parents "accidentally" opening mail addressed to me in the past, and then giving me a hard time about the content they accidentally would read -- it's probably just as well that I never give them an inch anymore)) and I have never quite gotten around to setting up forwarding to Chez Chestnut. So this morning I couldn't sit in the 4-digit and finish this letter I wanted to finish, because no cash machine would give me any money. My bank is happy now, and my credit card is happy, and now I must face the insurance companies. Eek. I really hate this.

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Saw The Movie yesterday, and it was basically a three-hour emotional assault, since I was on emotional overload to begin with. I was silently crying through most of it, and at several points it took effort not to sob. I have been in a funny way lately, let me tell you. After, cthulhia dragged some stuff out of me (ew) which I hadn't been very open about, and it's better this way, of course. I have yet to wholly word my thoughts on alla that, cuz it's very complicated, and also not something I talk about in weblog. Ho! But: it's good, better than it was, and getting better still. How's that?

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I got my Xmas gift from Leah today. Bread! My breakfast plans spurned, I instead ate some of this, with peanut butter. Mmm. Thanks.

Strange fact: I am the only bread-eater in this house. ?! If you don't count Leslee, that is. I would offer some of this bread to her but it will surely be all et before she gets back from Hawaii.