![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
A belated end to the 2010 plane saga
Jan. 3rd, 2011 09:59 amThe flights home Wednesday were fine. The first leg was indeed on a zippy little Embraer jet, small enough that I couldn't plant both my feet flat when sitting due to fuselage curvature. And yet, I was cool the whole way over. The crosswinds near the ground greeted the little plane with some playful buffeting as it prepared to land in Milwaukee, and I nearly laughed at the sensation.
Second leg actually gave me more jitters because even though we were on a big fat Airbus. It was moderately bumpy ride for the first hour or so, and it was too dark and cloudy outside to visually recenter myself. But then, just as the NOAA turbulence report predicted, it cleared away completely at around the halfway point. And then, magically, Chuck Jones' The Grinch Who Stole Christmas appeared on the seat-back displays! I plugged my headphones in and I tell you, this time I really did laugh. On an airplane! Several times, and not the hysterical kind, either. This, I would have not predicted.
In retrospect, the thing that has scared me the most about BOS landings has been the descending U-turn over the ocean that flights coming in from the west must often (always?) perform. Back when my I let my caveman-brain run unchecked during plane flights, even when this maneuver involved no turbulence, it was still terrifying. Ugh ugh! Ground went away! Water getting closer! Plane tipping over! Flee!! But this time I rode it down with a smile on my face (though I admit I craned my neck to keep the beloved twinkling city lights in view while we banked).
The fallout of all this is that I find my great personal success on these four flights the most memorable part of this vacation, and a source of honest pride on a personal demon subdued, if not utterly conquered. While I don't have reason to expect I'll ever really look forward to plane trips, I think I'm done being mortally terrified of flight. So, that's good!
As a bonus, enjoy this brief, silly Twitter conversation that happened between myself, my friend Jon, and Milwaukee's General Mitchell airport. MKE's message is what I woke up to find the morning after the flight, and it really was like a grown-up(?) version of getting a pilot-wings pin. I was a flyer, once again.
http://twitter.com/#!/JmacDotOrg/status/20285761140035584
http://twitter.com/#!/roody_yogurt/status/20288326221168641
http://twitter.com/#!/MitchellAirport/status/20489212797124608
Second leg actually gave me more jitters because even though we were on a big fat Airbus. It was moderately bumpy ride for the first hour or so, and it was too dark and cloudy outside to visually recenter myself. But then, just as the NOAA turbulence report predicted, it cleared away completely at around the halfway point. And then, magically, Chuck Jones' The Grinch Who Stole Christmas appeared on the seat-back displays! I plugged my headphones in and I tell you, this time I really did laugh. On an airplane! Several times, and not the hysterical kind, either. This, I would have not predicted.
In retrospect, the thing that has scared me the most about BOS landings has been the descending U-turn over the ocean that flights coming in from the west must often (always?) perform. Back when my I let my caveman-brain run unchecked during plane flights, even when this maneuver involved no turbulence, it was still terrifying. Ugh ugh! Ground went away! Water getting closer! Plane tipping over! Flee!! But this time I rode it down with a smile on my face (though I admit I craned my neck to keep the beloved twinkling city lights in view while we banked).
The fallout of all this is that I find my great personal success on these four flights the most memorable part of this vacation, and a source of honest pride on a personal demon subdued, if not utterly conquered. While I don't have reason to expect I'll ever really look forward to plane trips, I think I'm done being mortally terrified of flight. So, that's good!
As a bonus, enjoy this brief, silly Twitter conversation that happened between myself, my friend Jon, and Milwaukee's General Mitchell airport. MKE's message is what I woke up to find the morning after the flight, and it really was like a grown-up(?) version of getting a pilot-wings pin. I was a flyer, once again.
http://twitter.com/#!/JmacDotOrg/status/20285761140035584
http://twitter.com/#!/roody_yogurt/status/20288326221168641
http://twitter.com/#!/MitchellAirport/status/20489212797124608
That was just the tutorial level
Dec. 29th, 2010 11:01 amToday's itinerary has us flying an ickle plane from Columbus to Milwaukee (yes, not quite the right direction), and then a nice big jet for three hours back to Boston.
I'm both amused and frustrated that these four plane fights seem like three progressively more difficult challenges for an aviophobe, with the plane shrinking in size (and therefore more prone to turbulence) each time, followed by a boss battle where I get to ride a larger plane again but the total flight time is about the same as the previous three flights added together. There's even a sense of nemesis with the very last bit, since my two previous landings at windy, peninsular BOS were memorably scary (albeit on board smaller planes). And then I'll be home, and maybe leveled up...?
Not boarding for another five hours or so. I've eaten breakfast and had my one allowed coffee (which might be putting me at my chemical-nervousness peak right now). Time to take one more walk around suburban Dublin.
I'm both amused and frustrated that these four plane fights seem like three progressively more difficult challenges for an aviophobe, with the plane shrinking in size (and therefore more prone to turbulence) each time, followed by a boss battle where I get to ride a larger plane again but the total flight time is about the same as the previous three flights added together. There's even a sense of nemesis with the very last bit, since my two previous landings at windy, peninsular BOS were memorably scary (albeit on board smaller planes). And then I'll be home, and maybe leveled up...?
Not boarding for another five hours or so. I've eaten breakfast and had my one allowed coffee (which might be putting me at my chemical-nervousness peak right now). Time to take one more walk around suburban Dublin.
Terra firma
Dec. 26th, 2010 12:38 pmLanded in Columbus last night, via Philadelphia. Early critical reviews suggest I did a very good job as an air passenger, significantly exceeding all expectations based on past performance.
See my Twitter feed from yesterday for the blow-by-blow, plus some postmortem commentary. Somehow the flight on the smaller jet between PHL and CMH was honestly one of the smoothest plane trips I've ever had, maybe the smoothest on a sub-747 airplane. We flew in a straight line over the gently snowing clouds for a full hour, surrounded by a pitch black sky and more stars than I've seen since I was in college. (And it reminded me how much I'd like to do some proper stargazing again, sometime.)
Things I did differently, between yesterday's flights and previous ones:
* Used LJ and Twitter as I did. A stylish pilot-wings pin from me to all who sent along their good thoughts; you all helped me tremendously.
• Read (several weeks ago) Captain Stacey Chance's online multimedia essays for aviophobes preparing to fly. Despite its Web 0.9 layout, its frequent dips into inspirational-poster corniness, and its conclusion in a pitch for books and CDs by the good captain, it contains what was for me a small wealth of great advice. I found that, when things got juddery on the plane and I started getting nervous, thinking on these lessons calmed me down immediately.
My favorite single takeaway from "Capt. Stacey" is that, to an airplane moving at typical speed, the air rushing past "feels" like a much thicker fluid that it usually does to us groundlings. In the past, I'd try to think of the plane like a great ship on the sea, but now I had a much better metaphor: it was like a submarine! It wasn't skimming atop the medium that always threatened to swallow and destroy it; it was part of it, surrendered to it utterly, and therefore its master. Such an elegant and beautiful image.
So when the plane passed through turbulence and my hindbrain said Ugh! Plane shaking! Wind trying to kill us! Flee!, I would picture this image. The new perspective really took the edge off of the fear.
• Consumed no coffee -- or anything else caffeinated -- beyond my wake-up cup. A lesser challenge than usual, because my body was too distracted by the stress of travel to cry out for its afternoon dosage.
(And I allowed myself two and a half glasses of wine at the dinner party, but my flight-nervousness is so sobering that it's hard to tell whether it had any effect. Definitely didn't hurt, though.)
• Used the NOAA's live turbulence charts to see what we could expect to fly through. This was on![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mr_choronzon's advice, and it really did help. It added a little bit of dread to see some orange-colored moderate turbulence in our flight path, but this ended up being a fair price to pay for losing the surprise and confusion of encountering it unexpectedly.
• Sat besideclassicaljunkie the whole time. Yes, I did this last year as well, but this year we had reason to mutually support each other: on the first leg she was really stressed out by all the children on board, something that doesn't perturb me so much. Worst was the toddler who tried to relieve his holiday hyperactivity by bashing at her seat-back with his shiny new Tonka truck while singing his very own Christmas song into her ear. Poor Amy! So it was nice to be able to lend her some support right back. (The kid situation was awful enough to move the leggings-and-Uggs-clad teenager sitting on Amy's other side to join us in hushed commiseration.)
• When we banked, I could pull up my iPhone's compass and watch as our heading changed and then restabilized. Where my hindbrain could before cry Ugh! Plane is drooping out of sky! Flee!, I could now wash the whole system with undeniable visual evidence that this was happening for a good reason. And by god this helped shut the damned caveman up.
• I learned a new mantra from a TED Talk that Ze Frank gave recently. (The particular story, and eventually the song, begins at 14:20.) I have used mantras on planes since I first became afraid of flying, and they have evolved from genuine prayers to God for safety to repetitions of songs I like. I found this one effective because of the story of community behind it -- I really am a sap for stories like this -- and it tied in thematically with how I leaned on y'all for support, too.
While I can't say I'm looking forward to the flight back -- I haven't regained my long-lost ability to read while in-flight yet, for example -- I'm not in bring-me-my-brown-pants mode about it either.
See my Twitter feed from yesterday for the blow-by-blow, plus some postmortem commentary. Somehow the flight on the smaller jet between PHL and CMH was honestly one of the smoothest plane trips I've ever had, maybe the smoothest on a sub-747 airplane. We flew in a straight line over the gently snowing clouds for a full hour, surrounded by a pitch black sky and more stars than I've seen since I was in college. (And it reminded me how much I'd like to do some proper stargazing again, sometime.)
Things I did differently, between yesterday's flights and previous ones:
* Used LJ and Twitter as I did. A stylish pilot-wings pin from me to all who sent along their good thoughts; you all helped me tremendously.
• Read (several weeks ago) Captain Stacey Chance's online multimedia essays for aviophobes preparing to fly. Despite its Web 0.9 layout, its frequent dips into inspirational-poster corniness, and its conclusion in a pitch for books and CDs by the good captain, it contains what was for me a small wealth of great advice. I found that, when things got juddery on the plane and I started getting nervous, thinking on these lessons calmed me down immediately.
My favorite single takeaway from "Capt. Stacey" is that, to an airplane moving at typical speed, the air rushing past "feels" like a much thicker fluid that it usually does to us groundlings. In the past, I'd try to think of the plane like a great ship on the sea, but now I had a much better metaphor: it was like a submarine! It wasn't skimming atop the medium that always threatened to swallow and destroy it; it was part of it, surrendered to it utterly, and therefore its master. Such an elegant and beautiful image.
So when the plane passed through turbulence and my hindbrain said Ugh! Plane shaking! Wind trying to kill us! Flee!, I would picture this image. The new perspective really took the edge off of the fear.
• Consumed no coffee -- or anything else caffeinated -- beyond my wake-up cup. A lesser challenge than usual, because my body was too distracted by the stress of travel to cry out for its afternoon dosage.
(And I allowed myself two and a half glasses of wine at the dinner party, but my flight-nervousness is so sobering that it's hard to tell whether it had any effect. Definitely didn't hurt, though.)
• Used the NOAA's live turbulence charts to see what we could expect to fly through. This was on
mr_choronzon's advice, and it really did help. It added a little bit of dread to see some orange-colored moderate turbulence in our flight path, but this ended up being a fair price to pay for losing the surprise and confusion of encountering it unexpectedly.• Sat beside
classicaljunkie the whole time. Yes, I did this last year as well, but this year we had reason to mutually support each other: on the first leg she was really stressed out by all the children on board, something that doesn't perturb me so much. Worst was the toddler who tried to relieve his holiday hyperactivity by bashing at her seat-back with his shiny new Tonka truck while singing his very own Christmas song into her ear. Poor Amy! So it was nice to be able to lend her some support right back. (The kid situation was awful enough to move the leggings-and-Uggs-clad teenager sitting on Amy's other side to join us in hushed commiseration.)• When we banked, I could pull up my iPhone's compass and watch as our heading changed and then restabilized. Where my hindbrain could before cry Ugh! Plane is drooping out of sky! Flee!, I could now wash the whole system with undeniable visual evidence that this was happening for a good reason. And by god this helped shut the damned caveman up.
• I learned a new mantra from a TED Talk that Ze Frank gave recently. (The particular story, and eventually the song, begins at 14:20.) I have used mantras on planes since I first became afraid of flying, and they have evolved from genuine prayers to God for safety to repetitions of songs I like. I found this one effective because of the story of community behind it -- I really am a sap for stories like this -- and it tied in thematically with how I leaned on y'all for support, too.
While I can't say I'm looking forward to the flight back -- I haven't regained my long-lost ability to read while in-flight yet, for example -- I'm not in bring-me-my-brown-pants mode about it either.
(no subject)
Dec. 25th, 2010 03:45 pmPassing the time at Logan, with Amy. For whatever reason, this trip has been preceded by the worst case of aviophobic freakout I've ever experienced. It's been something like a single mid-intensity panic attack, stretched over three days. I can try speculating why this is, but it wouldn't help. I've been talking about it with Amy and that's helped a little. Trying not to get into any magical-thinking modes about this.
The fact that my Xmas eve was entirely plunged into dread and fear was especially rough; reading all the seasons' greetings from my friends across the internet made me feel like I was doing something wrong. Today's better by virtue of having a really swell early Xmas dinner with a few dear friends; that really chased a lot of the shadows away, even if my appetite didn't really suit the occassion. But then we called the taxi and I'm all rather knotted up again.
Gonna throw some tweets out there as we complete legs of this trip. All I want for Xmas is the knowledge that my friends are thinking of me while I work through this. It really is very difficult for me, to the point where I'm likely to seek professional help, later.
Best and sincere wishes from your friend in the skies for a happy Christmas evening...
The fact that my Xmas eve was entirely plunged into dread and fear was especially rough; reading all the seasons' greetings from my friends across the internet made me feel like I was doing something wrong. Today's better by virtue of having a really swell early Xmas dinner with a few dear friends; that really chased a lot of the shadows away, even if my appetite didn't really suit the occassion. But then we called the taxi and I'm all rather knotted up again.
Gonna throw some tweets out there as we complete legs of this trip. All I want for Xmas is the knowledge that my friends are thinking of me while I work through this. It really is very difficult for me, to the point where I'm likely to seek professional help, later.
Best and sincere wishes from your friend in the skies for a happy Christmas evening...
Presidential town hall and gun show
Aug. 18th, 2009 04:26 amBoy do I have a bad feeling about this.
This is probably the first time I really have to ask what usually strikes me as a lame question: can you imagine what would have happened if anyone pulled this shit around our previous president?
hey dudes
Money's on my mind again because Unforeseen Events caused the business to skid a little in May, and due to the latency of the billing cycle I'm weathering the financial sting of it right now. It's not like the newbie mistake I made a couple of years ago that left me with no business at all for a while, but it still smarts.
Lately, when money matters of any size injure me, I start obsessing about money and feeling bummed about how cash-poor I have often found myself. Since stepping out on my own four years ago, I seem to get into these areas a little too frequently: barely treading water, and laughing at the idea of saving. Listen: A bunch of new and nifty five-dollar computer games have recently appeared on my radar, and I haven't bought any of them, because I can't justify a five-dollar game purchase right now. That my friends is chilling.
There is a small but resolute part of me that permanently holds the position that I've had my fun, but it's time to return to the safety of the salaried life, where I can get all the five-dollar games I want and also a 401(k). It knows it's always going to get outvoted, so it doesn't press the issue. But it does make sure to clear its throat every time a situation like this comes up, and it points out the most recent six-figure recruiter email I have received. "Just putting this out there," it says. "I know you're not asking for my advice. Take it as you will. Something to consider, is all." It makes humble and placating gestures.
Meanwhile, back in the world that exists outside of my skull, June 2009 has been the accounts-receivabliest month in Appleseed's history. This was in part due to a new partnership which has worked out very well so far, and I'm fighting (but not yet struggling) through a workload logjam in order to get a regular stream of new work going in that direction. So that's good.
Today I started casting out some lines looking for more work to better suit (and allow me to keep!) this increased work-capacity. I also attended a game-lunch at a friend's workplace that somewhat unexpectedly morphed into a miniature networking thing (hi guys), and it make me think that I ought to start going to more networking events outside the games bubble, or even the (somewhat larger) software bubble. Attend the sorts of events where I can hand out my Appleseed card and really mean it, see...
As for managing my money, I hope that I have finally found a way to say goodbye to the useless pile that is Quicken. I have created an account on yodlee.com, and filled it up with all my bank, credit card, investment and personal-loan information. I'm impressed with how well it's already categorized my existing spending history. I look forward to using it for a month, after which I'll see if I can't make a more realistic budget this time. And maybe not blow $100 in overdraft fees in one week...
Money's on my mind again because Unforeseen Events caused the business to skid a little in May, and due to the latency of the billing cycle I'm weathering the financial sting of it right now. It's not like the newbie mistake I made a couple of years ago that left me with no business at all for a while, but it still smarts.
Lately, when money matters of any size injure me, I start obsessing about money and feeling bummed about how cash-poor I have often found myself. Since stepping out on my own four years ago, I seem to get into these areas a little too frequently: barely treading water, and laughing at the idea of saving. Listen: A bunch of new and nifty five-dollar computer games have recently appeared on my radar, and I haven't bought any of them, because I can't justify a five-dollar game purchase right now. That my friends is chilling.
There is a small but resolute part of me that permanently holds the position that I've had my fun, but it's time to return to the safety of the salaried life, where I can get all the five-dollar games I want and also a 401(k). It knows it's always going to get outvoted, so it doesn't press the issue. But it does make sure to clear its throat every time a situation like this comes up, and it points out the most recent six-figure recruiter email I have received. "Just putting this out there," it says. "I know you're not asking for my advice. Take it as you will. Something to consider, is all." It makes humble and placating gestures.
Meanwhile, back in the world that exists outside of my skull, June 2009 has been the accounts-receivabliest month in Appleseed's history. This was in part due to a new partnership which has worked out very well so far, and I'm fighting (but not yet struggling) through a workload logjam in order to get a regular stream of new work going in that direction. So that's good.
Today I started casting out some lines looking for more work to better suit (and allow me to keep!) this increased work-capacity. I also attended a game-lunch at a friend's workplace that somewhat unexpectedly morphed into a miniature networking thing (hi guys), and it make me think that I ought to start going to more networking events outside the games bubble, or even the (somewhat larger) software bubble. Attend the sorts of events where I can hand out my Appleseed card and really mean it, see...
As for managing my money, I hope that I have finally found a way to say goodbye to the useless pile that is Quicken. I have created an account on yodlee.com, and filled it up with all my bank, credit card, investment and personal-loan information. I'm impressed with how well it's already categorized my existing spending history. I look forward to using it for a month, after which I'll see if I can't make a more realistic budget this time. And maybe not blow $100 in overdraft fees in one week...
Looking ahead
Oct. 12th, 2008 10:16 amMcCain has lost control of his monster. This was evident a few days ago as he found himself having to correct snopesworthy concerns of audience members at a rally, but stumblingly - at one point uttering a soundbite that seemed to backhandedly endorse an Obama presidency. Yikes.
Here is my biggest fear: If the last five years of US foreign relations have planted the seeds for a new generation of bin Ladens to sprout out yonder, then the last five months of let the hate flow through you rhetoric from the desperate Right are gonna stir up a new batch of homegrown McVeighs. Yum yum.
Is there anything that the rest of us can do about this latter business, other than hoping that the DHS and the Secret Service know what they're doing?
Here is my biggest fear: If the last five years of US foreign relations have planted the seeds for a new generation of bin Ladens to sprout out yonder, then the last five months of let the hate flow through you rhetoric from the desperate Right are gonna stir up a new batch of homegrown McVeighs. Yum yum.
Is there anything that the rest of us can do about this latter business, other than hoping that the DHS and the Secret Service know what they're doing?
Job-hunt laffs OTD
Sep. 12th, 2007 02:30 pmWe have existing system built on PERL (developed over time) by various developers, with their own unique style.
I'll just bet you do. My translation: We run a horrible writhing nightmare of spaghetti code with no common style standards. Really, it's just that they tout that as a feature that makes it noteworthy.
I'll just bet you do. My translation: We run a horrible writhing nightmare of spaghetti code with no common style standards. Really, it's just that they tout that as a feature that makes it noteworthy.
The pink laser is my co-pilot
Jul. 26th, 2007 11:03 amEven though I'm not planning a trip any time soon my subconscious has been laboring to make me feel better about air travel. I don't know why this is... it's just been occurring to me lately that it might be nice to fly somewhere, and I won't freak out about it this time. Sounds like a plot device, doesn't it? Except that the VALIS wasn't programmed very well because I don't have any destination in mind so it's not like I'm actually doing anything about it.
I dreamed last night thatclassicaljunkie and I were waiting somewhere for something, and I entertained her by mimicking an airline pilot's intercom drawl about how we were in a holding pattern folks but we'd be comin' in pretty soon and here are some facts about the temperature and time down there, and it sure does look like a lovely day.
I dreamed last night that
classicaljunkie and I were waiting somewhere for something, and I entertained her by mimicking an airline pilot's intercom drawl about how we were in a holding pattern folks but we'd be comin' in pretty soon and here are some facts about the temperature and time down there, and it sure does look like a lovely day.Ricky wInd-down
Jul. 23rd, 2007 12:00 amRicky's leaving tomorrow afternoon. It's been a fine visit. You may have seen a post I made a few hours before he showed up on Friday, detailing some concerns I had; several hours after meeting him at South Station he was acting so wonderfully together that I regretted the post, and eventually went back and privated it.
He did say a handful of politically poor things to me, but at the same time he mixed happily with every manner of humanity that the Greater Boston Area had to offer him. I think his notion of "Arabs" (as he calls them) is something like many Americans' notions of "Communists" a half century ago; not so much a type of person as a sort of invisible, monstrous infection which could be inside anyone, and you can't know one until the moment he's blowing himself up at you. So while he is quite terrified of the "Arabs" in his mind, this seems to have zero effect on how he acts towards or around anyone, regardless of appearance. My fears were groundless.
Some of my misgivings also because when he was at his worst, circa 1990, he was so racist that he was like a grotesque parody of a racist. He shocked my parents, who are racists of the more casual stripe that peoples' parents tend to be. He even made my dad's obligatory racist friend kind of uncomfortable, when he got going with his talk. I can't pinpoint when he gave all that up, but golly gee you would never imagine he was ever like that, to see him today.
More later; all is well, sleep time now.
He did say a handful of politically poor things to me, but at the same time he mixed happily with every manner of humanity that the Greater Boston Area had to offer him. I think his notion of "Arabs" (as he calls them) is something like many Americans' notions of "Communists" a half century ago; not so much a type of person as a sort of invisible, monstrous infection which could be inside anyone, and you can't know one until the moment he's blowing himself up at you. So while he is quite terrified of the "Arabs" in his mind, this seems to have zero effect on how he acts towards or around anyone, regardless of appearance. My fears were groundless.
Some of my misgivings also because when he was at his worst, circa 1990, he was so racist that he was like a grotesque parody of a racist. He shocked my parents, who are racists of the more casual stripe that peoples' parents tend to be. He even made my dad's obligatory racist friend kind of uncomfortable, when he got going with his talk. I can't pinpoint when he gave all that up, but golly gee you would never imagine he was ever like that, to see him today.
More later; all is well, sleep time now.
DEFCON out for Mac
Jun. 13th, 2007 02:18 pmI discover that DEFCON - Everybody Dies has been ported to Mac; you can download a free demo at that link. For me personally, it is without a doubt the most powerfully and purely negative computer game I've played lately. I get very emotionally involved playing this, to the level where I feel real discomfort, almost to the point of literal nausea. I am not sure I'd want to play this game with another person... or maybe that would take the edge off. Who knows.
Objectively, this is all very interesting to me.
The game's worth experiencing for the way it mixes very clean, minimalist, even cold graphics with subtle sound effects and slow, dark ambient music that offers a continual dirge for the events that are unfolding (and which you are helping to cause). The overall effect is intensely disturbing even though it features no single element that would peg an MPAA-style content advisory.
Objectively, this is all very interesting to me.
The game's worth experiencing for the way it mixes very clean, minimalist, even cold graphics with subtle sound effects and slow, dark ambient music that offers a continual dirge for the events that are unfolding (and which you are helping to cause). The overall effect is intensely disturbing even though it features no single element that would peg an MPAA-style content advisory.
Roller coasters: not so much
Jun. 1st, 2007 01:22 pmWednesday classicaljunkie and I went to Six Flags. It was weird and nobody had any fun. Basically, her approach to amusement parks is to ride the 500-foot coasters over and over until she can't walk anymore. Mine is to go on the baby rides with my eyes squeezed shut while I go FUCKFUCKSHITCOCKNONOAAAAAAAAAAA, and then sit for a while to recover. A basic incompatibility was thus discovered.
But then we went shopping and had coffee and felt better.
classicaljunkie and I went to Six Flags. It was weird and nobody had any fun. Basically, her approach to amusement parks is to ride the 500-foot coasters over and over until she can't walk anymore. Mine is to go on the baby rides with my eyes squeezed shut while I go FUCKFUCKSHITCOCKNONOAAAAAAAAAAA, and then sit for a while to recover. A basic incompatibility was thus discovered.But then we went shopping and had coffee and felt better.
Had two dreams that seemed to be different faceplates on the same core anxiety:
1. I spent all my money on a beautiful new Intel Mac - but I forgot that it was a laptop that I wanted, and ended up with a perfectly redundant desktop machne!
2. I rented a Zipcar and had a jolly and rewarding drive - and realized, back home and 15 minutes after my time was up, that I had returned it to the wrong spot!
1. I spent all my money on a beautiful new Intel Mac - but I forgot that it was a laptop that I wanted, and ended up with a perfectly redundant desktop machne!
2. I rented a Zipcar and had a jolly and rewarding drive - and realized, back home and 15 minutes after my time was up, that I had returned it to the wrong spot!
Back from Fairfield. The last 36 hours were spent suboptimally; I touched the face of boredom, though I managed not to slide into its howling maw. The answer to "Gee, should I take my laptop?" is yes. Even in internetless places it's a toychest and writing desk, and these can keep me occupied for quite a while. But I chose poorly, and so had only a novel and an iPod, the latter with no ability to recharge. I made do, barely.
I think I've already complained about my whole family (parent and brothers both) being made into racist paranoid goobers by their fears being reinforced and amplified through all the Fox my parents watch and the Art Bell that Ricky listens to, and probably by their local culture as well. I keep forgetting this, and I tend to forget again it a few minutes after every reminder, because, you know, family.
But they are so scared of the Saracen Menace. I mean, honestly, it haunts them. Half of the conversations we had veered into some graveyard-humor joke pointing to the inevitable day when the skies would darken and the Muslims would come raining down, scouring the earth with their acid breath and terrible steel mandibles, unstoppable in their mithril carapaces and vulnerability only to weapons of +2 or greater enchantment. Or whatever, I don't know.
And a lesson in humility for me: Peter spoke excitedly about the Xmas bonus he got, a $50 Hannaford's supermarket certficate, and his wife's $10 cash bonus from her full-time volunteer job. $60 worth of groceries! He was honestly excited at this bounty. Meanwhile I practically blow that much on coffee in a week.
Other than that this was the first time all three McIntosh sons and both parents were gathered together in I-don't-know-how-long. More than two years. The total time of the full convergence was one hour, long enough to eat dinner. It was a fine dinner. I told my mother I'd have to teach her how to steam vegetables, though.
Mom and dad are coming coming down with the cat the day after tomorrow. They sent me home with a truly silly amount of cat stuff, but Shadow won't be wanting at least.
(Deleted the voice post that came before this post.)
I think I've already complained about my whole family (parent and brothers both) being made into racist paranoid goobers by their fears being reinforced and amplified through all the Fox my parents watch and the Art Bell that Ricky listens to, and probably by their local culture as well. I keep forgetting this, and I tend to forget again it a few minutes after every reminder, because, you know, family.
But they are so scared of the Saracen Menace. I mean, honestly, it haunts them. Half of the conversations we had veered into some graveyard-humor joke pointing to the inevitable day when the skies would darken and the Muslims would come raining down, scouring the earth with their acid breath and terrible steel mandibles, unstoppable in their mithril carapaces and vulnerability only to weapons of +2 or greater enchantment. Or whatever, I don't know.
And a lesson in humility for me: Peter spoke excitedly about the Xmas bonus he got, a $50 Hannaford's supermarket certficate, and his wife's $10 cash bonus from her full-time volunteer job. $60 worth of groceries! He was honestly excited at this bounty. Meanwhile I practically blow that much on coffee in a week.
Other than that this was the first time all three McIntosh sons and both parents were gathered together in I-don't-know-how-long. More than two years. The total time of the full convergence was one hour, long enough to eat dinner. It was a fine dinner. I told my mother I'd have to teach her how to steam vegetables, though.
Mom and dad are coming coming down with the cat the day after tomorrow. They sent me home with a truly silly amount of cat stuff, but Shadow won't be wanting at least.
(Deleted the voice post that came before this post.)
Better living through hypochondria
Dec. 7th, 2006 12:57 pmOK, I accidentally read some Wikipedia articles and now I'm terrified. They had pictures and everything it was horrible. I really want to set up an appointment ASAP with someone for a checkup. I've got credit.
Any local recommendations? I literally have no doctor or plan or nuthin. I'm a free agent.
Hmm, a nice little project I can do today is look into buying health insurance for myself, too. I quite honestly have no idea about any of this stuff.
Editleahleaf and jadelennox slid some URLs at me, and I contacted these folks. I hope to get myself nice n set up by Jan 1. I feel better already.
Any local recommendations? I literally have no doctor or plan or nuthin. I'm a free agent.
Hmm, a nice little project I can do today is look into buying health insurance for myself, too. I quite honestly have no idea about any of this stuff.
Edit
leahleaf and jadelennox slid some URLs at me, and I contacted these folks. I hope to get myself nice n set up by Jan 1. I feel better already.(no subject)
May. 24th, 2006 12:09 pmI had two dreams this morning.
First was a good dream. I was simply a passenger on a big jet, and enjoyed a few flights. All were smooth and relaxing, despite my nervousness about such things. Towards the end of the dream the pilot got fancy and performed backwards and even sideways take-offs and in all cases the experience was like riding a vast, flawless glass ramp into the sky.
Then I dreamed that I was home and Dick Cheney (who, for some reason, had a syrupy Southern accent) called me on the phone to gloat about how I had failed to detect his scheme and he was now free to carry on. I had no idea what he was talking about, but felt terrible about it, sure that if he was taking the trouble to call me then I must have been tasked with the mission to stop Dick Cheney and simply missed the memo. I asked him what he would do now, and he chuckled and said that I didn't need to know.
Apparently what tipped him off was that he had, from afar, noticed me reading some false Wikipedia pages that he had planted to entrap and confuse his pursuers. These were two pages on webcomics that my dreaming self had, in fact looked up prior to the phone call. The pages were bizarre: one looked as if someone had simply moved the discussion page onto the content page, and the other featured only a bland publicity photograph of a senatorial-looking black woman and some text about her, as well as a simple map of U.S. with the larger states labeled in blue MS Comic Sans. Through traffic analysis Cheney saw me spend time wondering at those pages, and then move on to something else; from this, he concluded that I was on his trail, but then got thrown off, just as he had intended.
First was a good dream. I was simply a passenger on a big jet, and enjoyed a few flights. All were smooth and relaxing, despite my nervousness about such things. Towards the end of the dream the pilot got fancy and performed backwards and even sideways take-offs and in all cases the experience was like riding a vast, flawless glass ramp into the sky.
Then I dreamed that I was home and Dick Cheney (who, for some reason, had a syrupy Southern accent) called me on the phone to gloat about how I had failed to detect his scheme and he was now free to carry on. I had no idea what he was talking about, but felt terrible about it, sure that if he was taking the trouble to call me then I must have been tasked with the mission to stop Dick Cheney and simply missed the memo. I asked him what he would do now, and he chuckled and said that I didn't need to know.
Apparently what tipped him off was that he had, from afar, noticed me reading some false Wikipedia pages that he had planted to entrap and confuse his pursuers. These were two pages on webcomics that my dreaming self had, in fact looked up prior to the phone call. The pages were bizarre: one looked as if someone had simply moved the discussion page onto the content page, and the other featured only a bland publicity photograph of a senatorial-looking black woman and some text about her, as well as a simple map of U.S. with the larger states labeled in blue MS Comic Sans. Through traffic analysis Cheney saw me spend time wondering at those pages, and then move on to something else; from this, he concluded that I was on his trail, but then got thrown off, just as he had intended.
(no subject)
May. 3rd, 2006 03:32 pmI am writing the user manual for Gamut. It will be good. You will like it.
I know I'm on the right track in my work when I feel full of existential dread. No joke. It's been true for years, and in areas of my life outside of Volity: When I hit upon something I instinctively know I should do right now, I feel overcome with a sense of personal fragility and mortality. This sounds distressingly Shelleyesque or summat, O that I should fade away naught but dust on the la di da, but it's true. And there ain't no better motivator! Whatever works, I guess.
Also Fluxx 3.1 is in testing; it's right in Gamut's game finder window. You should play it. It is good.
I know I'm on the right track in my work when I feel full of existential dread. No joke. It's been true for years, and in areas of my life outside of Volity: When I hit upon something I instinctively know I should do right now, I feel overcome with a sense of personal fragility and mortality. This sounds distressingly Shelleyesque or summat, O that I should fade away naught but dust on the la di da, but it's true. And there ain't no better motivator! Whatever works, I guess.
Also Fluxx 3.1 is in testing; it's right in Gamut's game finder window. You should play it. It is good.
(no subject)
Sep. 4th, 2005 09:50 amThoughts turn morbid. Listening to my friends debate the physics of what would happen if they hit the LNG tanker. Immediate vaporization of East Boston from wide energy release or slow chaotic disaster from solar-hot narrow flares? Whee fun.
Other than everything in the world I'm having a good weekend.
Other than everything in the world I'm having a good weekend.
(no subject)
Aug. 9th, 2005 12:36 amSo according to a post in ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
b0st0n , the USAF flyover (of either four or five jets in formation; accounts differ) that liquefied bowels from raw fear throughout the city was part of a special "recruiting night" at Fenway.
I don't see why there's any need to hold back reminders to the locals of our own military might, especially at Red Sox games. I advocate a flyover of some cruise missles set to strike unpopulated targets in Greenland or Canada or something. Or, oo oo, nuclear airbursts in the exosphere directly over Fenway Park. That would be great. Can we do that? Maybe a whole pattern, make them spell "GO SOX"? Or just "USA" if that's too hard?
Wait, how a bout a night game when there's a new moon overhead... are you thinking what I'm thinking?
b0st0n , the USAF flyover (of either four or five jets in formation; accounts differ) that liquefied bowels from raw fear throughout the city was part of a special "recruiting night" at Fenway. I don't see why there's any need to hold back reminders to the locals of our own military might, especially at Red Sox games. I advocate a flyover of some cruise missles set to strike unpopulated targets in Greenland or Canada or something. Or, oo oo, nuclear airbursts in the exosphere directly over Fenway Park. That would be great. Can we do that? Maybe a whole pattern, make them spell "GO SOX"? Or just "USA" if that's too hard?
Wait, how a bout a night game when there's a new moon overhead... are you thinking what I'm thinking?
